Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Drinking a beer, puffing on a cigarette and trying to unwind......

Spent much of the day at my 94 year old mother in law's house. Her 93 year old sister lives with her. They're polar opposites.

Aunt Lou drinks beer, hung out with Jack Keruac, Charles Bukowski, assorted poets and artists. Lived a fast life. Swears like a sailor. Horrible, horrible temper.

Dom's mom is afraid of her own shadow. No smoking, no drinking, used to be a good Catholic.

They fight like cats and dogs. Can't live with each other, yet can't live without.

They're both hard of hearing.

It's like a fucking nightmare over there.... them arguing, swearing, yelling, talking over each other,Lou's little dog yapping and snapping at us, multiple tvs blaring..... unbelievable.

As you're probably sick of hearing, the country is going DIGITAL next month. As they're too cheap to buy cable or satellite television, they had to buy converter boxes for their tvs.

Mrs. M has 3 sets. Aunt Lou has 1. Rabbit ears on all of 'em.

Today's job was to convert their televisions.

Unfortunately, Lou bought a DVD player, thinking it was a converter box. You should have
heard the yelling.

She convinced Dom's mother to give her one of her boxes.

Dom hooked Mrs. M's tvs up, then hooked up Lou's.

Went to the hardware store. Came back 20 minutes later, and Lou had yanked it out of the wall and threw it across the room.

(Mrs. M started bitching and moaning that she liked Lou's remote better than 2 that she kept for herself.... 3 different brands in all).

Straightened out the bent prong that was so forcefully yanked out of the wall, and hooked up Mrs. M's 3rd television.

Mrs M: 3
Lou: 0

Ho Ho Fucking Ho.

Couldn't wait to get out of there.

Honestly, I don't know how he does it. *sighing and making note to self to come up with an excuse not to join Dom and Chris on XMAS Eve visit over there*


JANIE said...

How hillarious! That is the best thing I've read in months. Ha!

Jennifer said...

Oh GAWD to be 94 years old. Just shoot me.