Monday, December 1, 2008

Something amusing for y'all.....

I often lurk on "Foodie" bulletin boards.... there are a few of them in the New Orleans area. I want to share something with you guys. This started off with a guy asking a rather ridiculous (IMO) question. Someone responded with cutting sarcasm which I found hysterical. Well, now the thread has taken on a life of its' own! I don't know who either of these guys are, but they're a real kick in the ass!
Tea Bags: How Many Times?
by Gentilly Johnny

Well, the stock market and the economy has just destroyed my finances. Also, looks like the price of tea bags has gone up astronomically. Question: I drink three cups of tea each morning. I can use one tea bag three times to make three cups of tea. And I can combine two of the third-use bags for a fourth cup.

Anyone have any other easy cost-cutting ideas for food or drink?
Tea Bags: How Many Times?
by Foster K


Go to the nearest convenience store/gas station, and while purchasing a cup of coffee, stuff your pockets with handfuls of sugar, sweetener, and half & halfs.
Even better, do the same at Burger King, after ordering a "senior coffee", which is appx. 1/2 the cost.

Or, order a child's burger at New Orleans Hamburger & Seafood Company, and quietly fill up on all you can carry at the fixings bar.

Don't forget that many grocery stores offer complimentary coffee, and usually have tasting samples at their deli.
Chinese take-out outlets, which are becoming more widespread, usually have baskets of soy sauce, hot mustard, and....yes, TEA! for their customers to take with them.

Don't neglect to take advantage of the abundance of available straws, salt & pepper packets, ketchup packets, plastic utensils, and paper napkins.

Speaking of straws, always have one with you; in old time barbershops & hardware stores, you will occasionally find an old "ice chest" type of soft drink machine that requires you to deposit your coins, slide the choice of beverage to the hopper, and pull it up past the mechanism now unlocked by the coins.
Here's what you do.

Use your bottle opener (you DO carry one with you, I hope), and simply open your preferred soda.
Now take your straw, and have at it.

Finally, don't forget this--

There are actually LOAVES of fresh French Bread actually, well, loafing (HAHAHA) on doorsteps of closed sandwich shops EVERYWHERE.
Go early, cause this must be a well known fact; they're always gone by 10am or so.

Good God, man.
The possibilities are endless.
Re: Tea Bags: How Many Times?

by Gentilly Johnny

Wow Foster K, great suggestions!

I already do the McDonalds thing, and it's even better with the cold weather and my big jacket pockets. And the "senior" thing works OK, except that I just made 60 y/o and there doesn't seem to be a standard universal policy as to what constitutes "senior." I'll check with AARP on that one.

I don't ask for child's plates; just seems too embarrassing. I do ask the wait staff what the cheapest thing on the menu is that has the most food, and take everything (including extra sugers) home in a doggie bag.

And I won't resort to taking the bags of french bread from outside of the stores- that would be dishonest.

And for under $10 (tax included!), I can get a go box at King's, the Chineese food place on Vets. I can really pack that go box (whitch I noticed has gotten a tad smaller in the last year or so).
Re: Tea Bags: How Many Times?

by Foster K

Now you're getting it, Johnny!

Love the King's idea, but really, take it a step further.

Pay for TWO boxes, and ask for a large bag in which to carry them.
Now, surreptitiously flatten out the boxes and place in the bottom of the bag.
Do you know why?

Bueller? Bueller? Anyone...?

(For support of all the weight of the enormous amount of stuff you're gonna throw in the bag!)
Re: Tea Bags: How Many Times?

by Gentilly Johnny

Foster K. Those Chineese folks are already weary of me when I come in there. They are very hawkish, and have admonished me for taking too many shrimp. They no longer carry lobster claws; I suspect that I am the reason.

And the bag thing would never work. Not only would they immediately be suspicious of my intentions, but the food would get all mixed up in there. I'll stick with the four or five pounds that I can sheepishly walk out with.*

*note to any of the Chineese people at Kings that might be reading this: I am a very short fat, bald guy. Be suspicious of short, fat, bald guys.
I'll continue to monitor this dialog over the next day, or so.... and will edit this post to include new stuff!
Re: Tea Bags: How Many Times?
by Foster K

Clearly, Johnny, you have been around the block.

Forget the Chinese; they're too smart.

Try this instead.
Get yourself a Luzianne Tea polo shirt (or Budweiser, Coke, whatever...).
Hang out in the parking lot of your local grocery store, and I mean EARLY, like 6:30 am.
When the real delivery guys arrive, just follow behind whoever your chosen brand guy is (don't let him see you, of course), and after he stocks the shelves, just wait for him to depart, and then fill up a buggy with the same product as your shirt, and leave through the BACK DOOR, muttering about mold, or insects, or whatever.

You can even ask the gatekeeper if he'll give you some ice (they have a BEAST of an ice machine), and he'll be glad to help, cause he knows how hard you guys work.

I suggest a collection of branded shirts, sufficiently weathered & worn, as appropriate to the product desired.

Another skill is to enter a convenience store in the wee hours, wearing shorts and cowboy boots.
Announce to the staff that you're "Just DYING for a wiener!"

While they're making jokes and laughing (and they certainly will be), start dropping dogs into your boots.
Now, they will be hot, so have socks on at least as high as the boots.
You'll walk funny leaving, but they'll be expecting that.
Foster K


Re: Tea Bags: How Many Times?
by Gentilly Johnny

Great idea, Foster K. And I know just the right grocery store; nothin' but Catholic high school kids working there.

And you're right, never try to get away with anything "suspicious" where Asians or Middle Easterners work. The small theft-loss margin keeps them prospering and multiplying.

Off of werk now. Time for some nefrarious computer mischief at home.

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